Friday 16 August 2013

Feminist Friday: Hairy vs. Hairless

anti pervert hairy leggings
Anti Pervert Hairy Leggings
It all started two months ago with those stupid freaking hairy "anti-pervert" leggings. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that permeated my Facebook news stream with comments of "haha" and "eww." The ones that were billed to keep unwanted male attention at bay. Those stupid freaking leggings drove me to a feminist rage that put me on threat level explosive. I hate them. Even more so I hated that no one else around me seemed to understand that they weren't funny and they weren't gross but were the epitome of patriarchal bullshit and  perpetuated the beauty myth while not so subtly victim blaming.

So if you don't want "perverts" perving on you then you should have hairy legs. So obviously hairless legs are the only attractive thing to have; if you have hairy legs you're gross and even the perviest perv will leave you be. I've talked about hairlessness and what society tells us is beautiful before so I'm not going to rage on too long here--on the grand scale of how fucked up these leggings are it's the lesser of all the evils.

Women "have" to wear these leggings to stop perverts. Why can't the perverts stop themselves? Even suggesting that they will stop unwanted attention suggests that any unwanted attention is the fault of the woman being harassed and not the harasser--victim blaming and not even vaguely subtle about it. I'll also take it so far as to say they perpetuate the belief that rape is about sex when rape has nothing to do with sex and is about power. If you're a pretty, hairless girl you could get perved on so you need to protect yourself by making yourself ugly and hairy so no man would ever want to harass or perv on you. Obviously unattractive women are never raped or harassed, duh


blonde hairy legs
I promise they're really hairy.
Those freaking hairy leggings pissed me off so much I decided to say fuck it and I would grow my own pair of leggings and challenge my own thoughts about hairy legs and say fuck you to the man. One little problem though--I can't shake that feeling that other people are judging me and my hairy legs and I really don't like it.

In general I've been okay about it. I've gone to swimming pools, worn dresses without tights to work, but I've also been somewhat hyper-conscious of what I think is other people staring at my legs. I'll be fine and not think about it but then cross my legs in a meeting and think that everyone is looking at my legs and how hairy they are. It doesn't help that hair in general grosses me out and I don't know if that is just a personal hang-up or societal norms rearing their ugly head but I can't embrace and love my hairy legs like I would in some utopian feminist fantasy. Maybe two months isn't long enough to break my subconscious subservience to societal norms but I'm not anywhere near 100% secure about having hairy legs.

I find myself apologizing for them, too. To the girl who waxes my eyebrows to friends when I'm out for drinks--they all say the same thing about how blonde I am and they hand't even noticed. They couldn't have not shaved for two months but I still can't reconcile it. I want to be happy, hairy and care-free but for whatever reason I'm fairly sure I'm at the end of my hairy journey. Although I have to say writing this and "coming out" with my hairy legs has made me feel a bit better about it all.  Still though feeling the wind blow between your leg hairs isn't a particularly pleasant experience.

It's increasingly difficult to reconcile my feminist beliefs with my own personal beauty beliefs but I hope I can fall back on my most favourite feminist belief--choice. I chose to have hairy legs and at some point I'm going to choose to have hairless legs again. Sure my choices are partially informed by what society tells me I should do but if I buck the norm and still don't like it surely making an informed choice is worth something? 



Let's be friends! Find me here:

28 comments:

Melaina25 said...

Hairy legs are a funny thing, I actually am utterly lazy about it in winter, I grow a nice thick blanket of hair, it keeps me warm, and makes me feel no less sexy, and doesn't bother my man at all either. However I really don't like it being on show out of the house, so come summer I revert to my leg shaving routine. I guess it equates to things like being happy to go bra less, or slob about in PJs at home, but wanting to present something slightly more polished to the outside world. As you say it is person al choice, but we cannot help be affected by the societal norms of our era either.

Melaina25 said...

I haven't shaved my legs in years, and I don't think anyone has noticed. And I can't say that I've ever noticed the wind blowing through the hairs either - and I run while wearing shorts!


My difficulty with appearance is the fight I'm having internally over my wobbly stomach. I hate it. I don't see it as a badge of pride or honour. It's a weakness - quite literally, as my back is similarly dodgy. But do I really hate it because society tells me I should? So difficult.

Melaina25 said...

It's difficult isn't it? You can be comfortable in your own skin but then throw in other people's gaze and you falter. I just struggle with if I don't like them because I just don't or if I don't like them because society tells me I shouldn't ya know?

Melaina25 said...

I've never noticed your legs! Just goes to show that most of my concerns are probably in my head :) It's so hard to know how much of any body issue is really how we feel or if we only feel that way because of the images that we are exposed to every day.

Melaina25 said...

I like to think of myself as someone who is not too bothered about other people's opinions...except for when I have hairy legs or armpits and then I get all wussy. I am blonde and my leg hair isn't terribly noticeable, but I still get all uncomfortable when they're in their natural state and I have to expose them!

Melaina25 said...

Armpits I totally can't do. I'm sure that stink particles cling to hair lol.

Melaina25 said...

Well said. You nailed so much of what I think. I conducted a similar experiment a few years ago on my pits but I grew tired of managing other people's reactions.
Have you seen the pit- based campaign similar to movember but pits and a female disease? I'm brewing a post about it when I'm certain what I think.

Melaina25 said...

Well done for trying. I've never shaved above the knee - and although I'm conscious of it I'm also aware what a difference it has made to the bottom half - the hair is not as soft, and actually it isn't as irritating.


I had a bad experience when I started puberty and had hair arm pits and didn't even know anything about shaving them, and during a PE lesson people were so mean to me. I still remember their taunts. So yes a lot is society.


Thank you for such a great, thought provoking post.

Melaina25 said...

I haven't shaved my legs in years... I always hated shaving them (took too much time, too many cuts) and I hated how cold my legs got in winter. So I just stopped. I'm really not self-conscious about them, as it seems that most people do not realize until you tell them. I hope you can stick it out a while longer :)

Melaina25 said...

I've not heard about it but sounds pretty weird...

Melaina25 said...

I'm sorry people were mean to you :(

Melaina25 said...

You really nailed this issue and the weird thinking behind these anti-perv tights. And anyway, why not be flattered when a stranger pervs on you -- It's a compliment, baby!


I went through a non shaving period during university of both arms and armpits. I love the statement that hairy armpits make (because whether you mean it or not, it says something) but I found my body odour was adversely affected. Living in Texas in the summer that was a problem.

Melaina25 said...

I must admit that I had always shaved without question and it wasn't until my eldest daughter reached her teens that I gave it any thought. I actually hated the idea that I had conformed to this hair free 'rule' for all these years without ever questioning it and I felt like I owed it to my daughter to say actually, you don't have to shave at all if you don't want to! But of course I felt like a complete hypocrite because I did shave. I really must blog about this one of these days but in short I am determined not to pass on my hang ups with hair on to my daughter. I want her to know that she has a choice. As for me, I kid myself that I choose to be hair free because I prefer how it looks and feels but there is no doubt that I have been conditioned to buying this whole beauty myth nonsense. I wish i didn't care but I really do. Ugh.

Melaina25 said...

Such an interesting post, I'd never heard of those leggings before - who thinks of these things?!? You're very brave not shaving, I couldn't have done it but then I'm so dark I revolt myself if I have to let hair grow for a wax even!

Melaina25 said...

I totally think stink particles stick to arm-pit hair (that or deodorant works best when applied directly to skin) so growing out my arm pit hair never last long for me. It does make a statement--I've been asked "do you shave your armpits" when wearing a 'this is what a feminist looks like tee' and was happy to break that stereotype and say yes I did. It's such a hard one!

Melaina25 said...

I shaved my legs for the first time at summer camp and I must have only been 10 or 11 and then I "hid" that I shaved my legs from my Mom after I got back. It's so ridiculous as I'm sure I had no reason to do it other than peer pressure.

I don't think you are a hypocrite at all--I think it boils down to choice and for some of us it is a harder choice to make because we've been bombarded with messages about what is beautiful for so long. I honestly feel so much more at ease about my legs since I've written this post. I was planning on shaving the second it went up but now I'm not that worried about them any more.

Melaina25 said...

I think the thing is does it revolt you because of what society tells you a woman's legs should look like or because you genuinely just don't like hairy legs?

Melaina25 said...

It's hard to say - I'd say because I genuinely don't like them, but why don't I? Is it because I've grown up "knowing" that it's not "pretty"?? Good questions...

Melaina25 said...

I keep coming back to this post, wanting to comment so now I will. This has been an issue I've thought about a lot. I am, in my natural state, a very hairy woman and my hair is very dark as well. I do not have a healthy relationship with my hair though I am pretty happy with most things regarding my appearance - or rather, not that bothered.

Thinking back, it's only social pressure that caused me to start removing it. When I was 11 my male cousin ridiculed me for my armpit hair and because I knew no women with hair there, I really thought something was wrong with me. At 13, the pressure to shave my legs was really strong at school. Funnily enough, the boys didn't seem bothered. In fact, I had a lot of (unwelcome) male attention. But the girls went on and on about how I should shave my legs so that I eventually did - and tried to hide the fact at home. I didn't feel like I could talk to my mother about it. At 16 a boy at school mentioned that I should do something about my upper lip hair and I self-consciously went to get it waxed that day!

My point is, upon reflection, none of it was me choosing to do remove my natural hair because it was what I wanted to do. In fact, I was totally a nose-in-a-book-head-in-the-clouds kind of girl. I had very little awareness of celebrity culture and being "in fashion" was never my priority. But what stands out to me is that I lacked the self-confidence to stand up to these ridiculous demands to conform that my peers were also subject to, even if they were the ones pressuring me. I also did not have the open dialogue with my mother about my changing body, which may have helped. I'm not at all blaming her. I think she overall did a bloody good job with me but it was a different time and she certainly hadn't had that kind of relationship with her own mother.

Which leads me to my big aim: to try to foster that openness with my own daughter. I think part of that is letting her see my body (and facial) hair from time to time (I'm incredibly lazy about sorting it) and the other bit is talking frankly and without embarrassment about bodies. I want to never show any shame about my own. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll stop all hair removal, though I may get there, it's only an occasional thing for me now anyway but perhaps by not making it a constant, there'll be at least one female in her life saying that there are choices about this? I don't know. I can only hope.

(Sorry for the blog post this has turned into!)

Melaina25 said...

When I was a freshman in college I went through a phase where I shaved my head but not my legs. Unfortunately I just couldn't keep up with either, but I'm completely jealous of those who can.
I have really hyperactive oil glands, and by the middle of the day my buzzed hair would just be completely gooped up with grease, so I'd either have to wash my head twice a day or wear a hat. I couldn't handle it so I relunctantly let my hair grow back out.

For my legs, I discovered that my leg hair is very dark, thick and long. It got so puffed out that when I see the same kind of leg hair on a man I think it's gross. The photo of the hairy leggings is pretty accurate for my real hair (except only below the knee). When I stopped shaving my legs it was winter into early spring, so I only every wore shorts out a couple times, and interesting enough, the only person who commented was a friend of mine - a gay man who complimented me for being cool enough to not care what people thought. In the long run, they were getting itchy and I just couldn't handle all that hair so I shaved them. It took so long to shave all that hair off that I did one leg one day and the other leg the next day.

Melaina25 said...

Don't apologize it is a great comment--I think it is about being open with our children that just because their friends or the media say they HAVE to look a certain way that all that matters is they are happy and they don't HAVE to conform to any norms.

Melaina25 said...

It's tough right?

Melaina25 said...

I ended up getting rid of mine last night. I used NBH's beard trimmers on them first and then back over with a razor. The feeling of the wind in my hairy legs was not a pleasant one.

Melaina25 said...

I lasted a few more days and then I caved. I felt so much better about them after I wrote this post and then once I was back at the office they were making me unhappy again.

Melaina25 said...

My mom taught me to shave my armpits, like my dad taught my brother to
shave his face. For me, it's hygienic and feels good. If I don't shave
my armpits I notice an odor, even though I've showered. No one ever told
me it was ugly but when I saw women unshaven, I thought it looked ugly.
Perhaps because, as I child, I didn't have hair under my arms and I
didn't like it when it started to grow.

As for hairy legs, I
don't shave because I don't have hair on my legs. If I did, I would
shave, not for anyone else but for myself because I like the look and
feel of smooth skin. Everyone can decide for themselves whether to shave
or not, just as we can all choose whether we like long hair (on our
heads, of course) or prefer it short. It's a matter of taste and we
don't all have the same taste!! ;-)

carmen @ http://fashionableover50.wordpress.com/

Melaina25 said...

I'm also both dark and hairy. From the vantage point of 67, though, I can report that eventually our legs and armpits--or at least mine, so I assume other people's--get less hairy. For my legs, it started from the knee and worked downward. For a while I thought I'd end up with a small ruff around my ankles, like a poodle, but it didn't turn out that way.


But I have had to start shaving my chin. And no, it doesn't grow back any heavier.

Melaina25 said...

My Grandma once told me a good thing about being old was she didn't have any hair on her legs any more :) Glad you finally got to comment!

Melaina25 said...

I put enough work into getting that posted that I could have shaved a dozen legs. Or not shaved them, as the case may be. Again, thanks for your help and sorry to have been a pain.