Tuesday 18 November 2014

Bess Kanter 1922-2014

I've been a bad blogger; I've not blogged or even managed to stick up a guest post in 3 weeks. Since Baby Girl was born a few really shitty things have happened. I won't get in to it all just now but I had other things to worry about (in addition to new baby worries!) and just couldn't really bothered to do much. Then unfortunately my Grandma Bess, my last living grandparent, passed away. 

I know I was extremely lucky to have three grandparents live into their 90s but it still hurt to lose three in the last 18 months. My Grandma Bess hadn't been 100% herself the past two years; she was still Bess but things were getting foggier and jumbled after a series of strokes. She was always fiercely independent and I know she wouldn't have wanted to stay in a perpetual state of time confusion where her past memories intermingled with her new future.

She had a flair for the dramatic and decided, after another suspected stroke, that 92 years was enough. Not just anyone dies on their birthday, so I like to think she at least went out in style. I was able to talk to her on the phone and even though she couldn't respond I'd like to think she knew. My sister was there with her when she passed away and I know both my Mom and I were ever so grateful for that.

It may sound silly but she wasn't just my Grandma, but one of my best friends. When I was a little girl I'd put on her nightgowns and stuff my toys down her couch so I wouldn't have to leave. I remember staying up and watching The Golden Girls and Tracey Ullman Show with her, going to the pool (she tanned and gossiped while we swam) and she always had those mini boxes of cereal for us of the sugary brands my parents never bought. She doted on my sister, cousin and I.

She always without fail told me how pretty I looked when we'd Face Time. I could have a dirty ponytail and no make-up, she didn't care. She loved and adored us without question. She welcomed NotBlondeHusband the same and would tell her friends how her grandson was taller than her china cabinet. She loved and believed in us all and supported each of us.

I've written before about how she was the original Carrie Bradshaw and I know my Mom, sister and myself all got our passion for fashion from her. Bright red nailpolish and lipstick will always remind me of her and I'm so lucky to have two of her rings--one for myself and one for Baby Girl when she is older. She loved sparkle and I know she wouldn't want any of her rings to sit away in a drawer not worn.

I've rambled on a bit here but to be honest I didn't get much time to work through any of this. When I heard she wasn't going to get better NotBlondeHusband left work early and drove Baby Girl and I to Edinburgh to the US consulate to get her an emergency passport as Jewish funerals happen as soon as possible. While we were there my Grandmother passed away and as soon as we got back in Glasgow I booked a flight home for the next morning.

Flying with a newborn isn't as bad as you'd think but that's a post for another time.  I'm so lucky to have had such a wonderful, loving, honest and funny woman in my life. I have so many wonderful memories and funny Bess stories that I will always keep close to my heart.  

She once told me that bitches live forever, so we had nothing to worry about. She just didn't realize she was nothing of the sort. I love you Bessala and while I'm glad you don't have to live with one foot in the past and one in the present any more, I still am going to miss you more than anything. I'm so glad to have had you in my life as long as I did, but I just wish we could have kept you for a little bit more.

Bessie Kanter
11/4/22 - 11/4/14

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Melaina25 said...

I am so sorry for your loss and understand what you are going through. I don't have any Grandparents left (they passed away when I was 15). My husband still has his nan (she is 93), but she has been in hospital the past week with several issues and we are in limbo as to what is happening.

It is so devestating when you lose a loved one, but your Grandma sounds like a fab lady and that she lived a full, long and wonderful life xxxx

Melaina25 said...

Awww, bless you lovely. xx

Melaina25 said...

I wish you a long life x

Melaina25 said...

You brought tears to my eyes. What glorious words you wrote about her and how she made you feel. So sorry for your loss. xo

Melaina25 said...

What a beautiful tribute to your Grandmother! So sorry for your loss!


Melaina25 said...

I am so sorry to hear the loss of your grandmother. This is such a beautiful tribute to her.

Melaina25 said...

So sorry to read of your loss - she sounds like a fantastic lady, and you were blessed to have her. I hope you keep safe those wonderful memories xx

Melaina25 said...

*hugs* it's so tough losing a loved one but what a great age she lived to :) Sounds like she was a right character and one of the best grandparents to have around. I wished my poor Granny had lived to a ripe old age but it wasn't to be, at least we both have some cracking memories :) x

Melaina25 said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. She's gorgeous. Stay Strong.


Melaina25 said...

Hugs my lovely. She sounds like an amazing woman who had an amazing life and family who loved her. She sounds a bit like you to be honest and she'll live on in spirit through you all. Love you x

Melaina25 said...

Oh no I'm so sorry to read this. She sounds like an incredible woman and not so dissimilar from her granddaughter! Sending lots of love x

Melaina25 said...

incredibly sweet post, grandma's are the best. so much love, jodi x

Melaina25 said...

I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your grandmother. She indeed sounds like the original Carrie Bradshaw. She had to have been such an inspiration growing up! Lots of love your way!

XO, Jaime