I'm going to say something I thought I didn't have to say: homophobia isn't funny. Seems obvious right? Apparently not. I've talked before about the power of words and linguistics so it really shouldn't come as a surprise that I feel this way.
Obviously straight up, in your face, disgusting, hateful homophobia is wrong; but so is passive, inferential homophobia. To me there is little difference between the two as they both have the same result. You can straight up say that being gay is wrong or you can say boys with long hair are "queers"-- BOTH are not okay.
I'm raising my son to be anything he wants to be and love anyone he wants to love and to know that whatever his choices are they are all normal. Words are so powerful and why would you choose to marginalize and alienate an entire section of society for the purpose of a laugh?
Don't get me wrong; I love humour and I know that comedy can push boundaries but there is a difference between pushing boundaries and exploiting homophobic language for a cheap laugh.
I know this might seem as if it is coming out of nowhere but like I said, it is something I thought I didn't have to say but apparently I need to say it. Homophobia is NOT funny.
24 comments:
Well said! It's shocking that you even have to say it but people do insist on this "words can't hurt" attitude and it's rubbish! Words form thoughts and that creates whole attitudes.
Would you then be an advocate of people using antiquated terms for people of African descent as well? Based on your logic it would be okay to use the N word, too. Just because you grew up saying one thing does not mean it is okay to use it today.
In this case I'm not being intolerant. I spoke to the person and explained why I felt it was not cool to say what they said and they stood by what they said--not because they grew up saying it---but because it was a joke.
I will have to agree to disagree with you.
I don't agree with that i'm afraid. "queers" are not gay . . gay means happy and always has done. When i grew up the word WAS queer the word itself doesn't indicate hate nor does it indicate "homophobia" the intention behind the word is the thing. These days everything has been hijacked by some group or person as being offensive. It's a shame that in todays society where we claim to want to be more tolerant we're actually being less intolerant of people who don't say the "right" thing.
Steve
I never said making jokes was funny and the "n" word IS a derogatory term. it always has been. We're ALL descended from Africa so that would apply to all of us. The thing is EVERY word in use today can be offensive to someone or the other. The intent is what people should really be looking for. It's not MY logic it's the universal logic.
I don't want to start an argument but there are people who use horrible words with no intent to harm but those words STILL harm. For me I'm sorry intent is not good enough. Again we agree to disagree.
Steve Farndale wrote, in response to Melaina25:
I agree with Steve to the extent that the word "queer" isn't the problem here. The joke would be as rude and offensive if the "joker" had used the word "gay". The idea is to disparage some action or look by associating it with homosexuals, implying that being homosexual is something disparaging. And we'd all get how "funny" it is to call someone that.
The "joke" reeks of latent homophobia, and laziness.
And homophobia, racism, sexism, and pretty much every other form of bigotry isn't funny. Blonde jokes however are hilarious ;)
It all starts at home and the "I'm not racist, but" or "I'm not homophobic but..." statements then take on different meanings. I think we are all guilty of making jokes,, but I agree we have to be more careful and responsible to and for our children to learn and not continue in this vicious cycle.
Well said, Mel, and I'm sad that it even needed to be addressed. What year is it?
I totally agree. Has something sparked this?
I just wish we could get over using homosexuality as an insult. It is not wrong or less it is a way of life, it's how people are born. You wouldn't say that's so "black or asian or white" so why that's gay... I want to raise my child in a world where all people are treated equal no matter their race, religion, or sexual orientation.
Unfortunately yes. Woke up to some homophobic language in my twitter stream, called the person out and they saw nothing wrong.
Word. It is sad that this still has to be said. I've spent a fairly large amount of time amongst teenagers (especially boys) and I always call them out when I hear them using "gay" as an insult. It just really riles me up and I hope that by the time my son is a teenager, this type of language isn't so common any more!
I feel the same way! I have heard a number of people say "that's so gay" and I know they aren't really meaning it in that context but it infuriates me and I always call them out on it. I don't want words like that being used in front of my children.
Exactly. I called a person out today and they didn't see any problem because "it was a joke."
I used to bench kids when I was a lifeguard for calling someone "gay" just as I would bench them for calling someone a "bitch." Derogatory language is not cool.
totally agree. good for you. as someone with a gay brother, i agree 100% and a lot of the time when people describe something as "gay" in a derogatory, I call them out on it and to be honest, they're usually ignorant and don't understand the power of language!
I called someone out and they refuse to see error. Sad.
What really annoys me is when adults do it as they should know better.
Totally TOTALLY agree - I had this argument the other day with someone. 'Jokes' about being gay are never acceptable - even if you preface them with 'I'm not homophobic or anything, but...' They also failed to see that the fact that singling someone out first and foremost by their sexual preference is a form of discrimination: 'That gay guy next door' rather than just: 'That guy next door'. Makes me really angry.
Thank you Gwen you are dead on. I know in my house
people are treated equal no matter their race, religion, or sexual orientation and hopefully Blondie Boy will take that outside of the house as well.
I just don't see why people think it is okay! When I called someone out for using "queer" as a derogatory term they said "it was a joke." Well it is not funny.
The biggest problem with it is when they start school as kids then learn all the prejudices of all the other kids parents as well. Then the homophobic issue comes up massively as children use it to humiliate and offend other children. It really is NOT cool at all.
Which to me means we as adults have to step it up. Part of why I was so shocked the adult who said something showed no remorse :(
Thanks Jill shocking in 2012 right?
Couldn't agree more. It is sad that you had to say it in the first place but good for you for standing up for what you believe, what you know to be right, and for others. xoxo
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