The X Factor is live and the first theme is "Britain vs. America" which isn't really a theme at all since 90% of music on the radio is from the US or UK. It's like saying tonight's theme is "Fast vs. Slow;" either have a proper theme or don't okay?
The Big Twist isn't bringing back contestants after all (so why was Kelly Rowland in Fife?) but instead there will be no public vote this week. They used to do the same waaay back in the early days of American Idol so not that exciting if you ask me. Bring on the singing!
Amelia Lily
What is with the pink hair? First the girl on BINTM and now her as well? I do think she looks loads better with less make-up. Who lets a 16 year old go bleach blonde and wear 2 tons of makeup? Oh for the love of Bubbles she's singing Billie Jean? I love Michael Jackson and I love a bit of punk-rock covers but this is just not well thought out and it is NOT good. Also pink hair plus red jacket clashes in my book; just saying.
Johnny Robinson
Okay so I'm guessing the X Factor vocal coach didn't get a chance to teach him about singing from his chest and not his nose? I feel bad for him because honestly he's not good enough to be on the stage. I guess Louis is treating him like Wagner 2.0 and figure that is he goes camp enough with enough dancers in tight clothes he'll go through. He does look like he is having the time of his life though so good for him I guess? OMG did you see Kelly's polite tennis clap? LOVE IT.
Rhythmix
I'm going to go ahead and say it I was more impressed with Sophia Grace singing Super Bass than these girls and her rapping skills were way better. If you aren't a rapper you should not try to rap. The harmony at the end was good but just didn't make any sense. Also what is up with Tulisa's blonde roots with brown hair? Is that a new trend I've missed because it looks really stupid.
Frankie Cocozza
First I have to say I HATE his hair; comb-overs are don't look good on old men nor do they look good young men. I also hate this song; I thought it was that whiny James Blunt until I listened and realized it was about drugs and Officer Blunt wouldn't dare sing about drugs. I'd have to say using the term "sing" to describe what Frankie did tonight is stretching it; he just huskily spoke through it and I did not like it. Real artist Gary? Not so much.
Sophie Habibis
Didn't Kelly say she was singing a song by the biggest act in the UK right now? Did I not hear her right? I was expecting Adele not the very American Katy Perry. She looks great and her shoes are freaking amazing but I think they've slowed the song down too much. Sophie can obviously sing but it's just too sleepy for my taste. If Simon was there he'd say it was indulgent.
Jonjo Kerr
Even the girls grinding without their poles behind him can't distract from how bad this is. He does not have the voice, style or confidence to pull off the Kinks. Does anyone remember Tabby from the 1st series of the X Factor? He could sing the Kinks, Jonjo can not. The buttoned up suit did not work at all with the song either.
Two Shoes
I'm glad they got out of the car because you couldn't see them but then they got out and I saw they had on 25lbs pounds of makeup. Oy. It's not bad but it also sounds exactly like the original version. I don't really have much else to say which can't be a good thing. I second Kelly though; where the hell is Romford?
James Michael
I don't remember him from any of the audition shows and based on this I'm not surprised. It's so ho-hum and not powerful I just want to fast forward. Another slowed down, sleepy song that has been changed up for the worse. If you are going to sing something as classic as a Beatles song you have to kill it; he didn't kill it he murdered it.
Misha B
Another "biggest artist in the UK" from Kelly; I'm thinking Adele again but will assume its another American. Okay it is Adele but why is she dressed like what I imagine Rupert Murdoch would look like in drag--part newspaper, part evil queen? She's not a bad singer but she's very affected and over stylised in her singing which makes it very unpleasant to listen to if I'm honest.
Nu Vibe
Okay first I have to say normally when I hear this song I change the station or the channel. I can not and will not support Chris Brown in any way shape or form. I really, really hope he is not getting any royalties or benefits from them singing this song. I don't boycott much but I boycott him. Now that is out of the way I think their performance was old fashioned and they were trying too hard to look like a boy band and the vocals fell flat. Even the styling seems so five years ago; except for the main guy's crustache ala Colour me Badd which is so 20 years ago.
Marcus Collins
I think he looks really good but the performance is very karaoke. Don't get me wrong I love karaoke but that's not what this show is about. His phrasing is off and it's just not the best vocal I've heard in my life. While I think he is really cute it did not do it for me.
Sami Brookes
Why is she actually done up like a drag queen? I'm the first to admit I wish I was a drag queen myself but I really do not think her styling or makeup is flattering in any way shape or form. The X Factor has a really bad habit of putting anyone over a size 10 in shapeless black sacks of varying lengths (see Mary from last year) and I do not like it. What the frickity frak did she do with her mouth at the end there? If Simon was there he'd say it was a "cruise ship" performance.
The Risk
We've never heard them sing together before and I think if we had they wouldn't be here. Their voices just don't really mesh well together. Again if you can't rap- DON'T RAP; I think bad rapping might be my new pet peeve. I'm not a fan and at this stage and can't see them sticking around very long. Did the judges hear something totally different from me? I'm actually shocked that they liked it so much.
Craig Colton
I hope they break him of that lip snarl habit quickly; why do contestants do that? It doesn't look big, clever or cute. I have no idea what song he is singing which makes it really hard for me to connect and get into it. He can sing but there is no connection. WHAT THE F WAS THAT?!?! That strange whipsery, almost crying drama break in the middle before the crescendo? Who said that was okay? That put me right off; I wasn't committed from the start and that killed it for me.
Kitty Brucknell
Did she get botox? Her forehead and eyebrows look freakishly smooth and frozen. She looks like a waxwork! She's not the worst singer but all the theatrics and styling is only something you can pull of once you are an established artist. Did you notice how no one clapped at first? It's because they didn't know WTF to say! Her voice was fine but the performance was just really out of place and she so wants to be Gaga right?
Janet Devlin
I absolutely hate her Dale Evans outfit but holy shit is she the best by a mile. The song choice is amazing and completely shows off the vulnerability and innocence in her voice. It was totally stunning and she's my early pick to win the X Factor. She has a little case of Diana Vickers hands but otherwise perfect. Also how is it she sounds more Irish singing than she does speaking? So cute!
All photos from ITV.com