X Factor: First Live Show Recap

So I used to live tweet the X-Factor and have blogged about it before, but I pretty much Sky+ every show these days so here is my recap of the X-Factor, but in a live blog style!

GAMU WAS ROBBED!!!! I could care less about the other wildcards to be honest! I have 1 degree of separation from Gamu, so maybe I’m a bit more pissed off if there was zero connection, but umm I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.

Is the girl in the Yeo Valley rap Alex from Britain’s Next Top model who won a few years ago? How much does a commercial that long on the first X Factor live show cost do you think? Okay time to fast-forward!


FYD

Does that guy need those glasses or is it just a really bad fashion choice? A bow-tie necklace? A sleeveless hoodie? Really? Can you tell I’m not digging their fashion choices? I think what that says more so is that I’m not impressed with the vocals since I’m looking at what they are wearing so much! I’m not a huge fan of this song to begin with and I’m not loving their version or performance, it’s just well boring. I agree with Danni they were moving around too much, it was like high school musical or something.

VERDICT: They don’t get my vote, but I don’t begrudge Simon for putting them through. They went first so always possible they will end up in the bottom.


Matt Cardle:

Does Matt only own one hat? I think I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t have it on tonight on stage. I like him, but jeez buy a new hat. There it is! I knew the hat would be there. I really like him, but umm this is not starting out good at all. I’m really not enjoying this and are his pants too long in the crotch? Okay his falsetto is good, but I don’t know something just doesn’t feel right and certainly doesn’t sound right. Ugh he just dropped down in my esteem doing those “praying hand thank you” gestures; I find it sooo annoying when people do that! It always seems fake and wankerish to me. Apparently everyone loved that except for me, oh well!

VERDICT: I do still like him, despite his unfortunate gesturing and lack of hat diversity and I hope he makes it through to next week to redeem himself.

John Adeleye:

I didn’t think he was good enough to go through to be honest and just went through because he was one of the least delusional over 28’s. Ugh, no stage presence and no power behind his voice. I want to fast-forward through the rest of his song because I just don’t care. Okay I did just fast-forward, he wasn’t worth my time, sorry! The theme is number ones tonight? The fact that it is New Zealand’s number one makes me chuckle because it make me think of the Conchords.

VERDICT: Won’t vote for him and I would have preferred someone more talented or a bit crazy, but not the elf guy he scared me!

Rebecca Ferguson:

I hope they threw her ponytail weave and false lashes in the trash; ponytail clip on hair is the worst! Oh wow she is super nervous isn’t she? Okay so they just upgraded her to a nicer quality ponytail weave—it looks better, but umm come on it’s still clip on hair! Her eyelashes are much better though. She doesn’t seem very comfortable up there and it’s not bad, but it’s not exciting. I think a lot of this has to do with song choice, it just seems not very “now.” I agree with Simon, she needs to be younger and more fun.

VERDICT: I want to see her having fun and singing something funkier and younger.

Storm Lee:

Playing up the Scottishness in hopes of regional votes already huh Louis? Why oh why did he dye his head neon red? Who said that looks good (if anyone mentions I dated someone with that color hair I will plead misguided youth)? Umm does he have a multi-coloured glitter eyeband painted on his face? I do think he is a really good singer but it’s all such an act with the glitter and red hair and umm GIMP DANCERS?!?!?! What the F is up with the dancers? I’m also not sure why you’d sing a Starship song, it makes it all a little bit like an 80’s tribute act. I totally agree with Cheryl the image is way too much. VERDICT: I always support Scotland, especially when they are talented. I hope he tones it down a bit next week or at least doesn’t go so 80’s.

Belle Amie:

Girl bands notoriously do poorly so I think “Airplanes” is a good choice because people might vote because they like the song. Is it me or does it seem like their mics aren’t turned up very loud? I feel like their vocals are coming across really quietly, but I don’t think they are soft singers if that makes sense. I just noticed there are two jumpsuits in the band and I am NOT a fan of jumpsuits.

VERDICT: I don’t think they were horrible, but girl bands don’t normally get votes easily so I wouldn’t be surprised if they wound up in the bottom for that reason. Hopefully since their song choice is a current hit they’ll be okay.

Cher Lloyd:

Oh she’s in my bad books for stealing a place from Gamu when she had such a crap performance at judges’ houses and for saying she made up a rap that she didn’t. Ew harem pants weren’t cool when MC Hammer wore them and they are not cool now. Is it me or is her rapping just sorta slighty shouty talking? The whole thing is just awful and I’d fast forward but I want to see if it gets worse. I honestly don’t really know the song and maybe that is part of it but I don’t like it.

VERDICT: The judges all loved it, I hated it, so who knows what the public will think. She’ll need to pull it out next week to win me over.

Diva Fever:

I think these two are super likeable and fun, but they haven’t been more other than camp karaoke up until now. Okay if you are going to wear a sequin suit it should be tailored to fit you properly. Maybe I’m mistaken but I’m pretty sure there isn’t a sequin suit shop where you can pick one up; I think if one wants a sequin suit it must be bespoke. Why the outfit change to biker shorts? Do you think Simon is trying to make us think of “Pineapple Dance Studios?” The one wee guy sang okay, but the other guy didn’t really sing at all and when he did it wasn’t nice.

VERDICT: I think some people might vote for them because camp things are trendy right now, but they are not the best singers and I think they know that.

Paije Richardson:

That jacket is horrendous. Who is the stylist on this show? 90% of the acts have looked awful tonight! I don’t know if the background music is too loud or the change of pronouns is putting me off, but I’m not enjoying it. Also he should not attempt to dance or walk because he is out of breath and out of time after only 20 seconds of moving around.

VERDICT: I don’t think he is bad, but I think he thinks he is a lot better than he is. I don’t know who’s vote he’d really get so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in the bottom.

Katie Waissel:

Ugh she really annoys me and has from the beginning. She’s also in the bad books for stealing a place from Gamu after she couldn’t even sing a whole song and SHE ALREADY HAS A RECORD DEAL AND HAD A REALITY TV SHOW! Can you tell I can’t stand her? What the F is she wearing and why is she singing a song that she tried to sing at auditions? Is she really playing the piano or just pretending? I’m leaning towards just pretending since her hands have barely moved. I really don’t like her voice and can barely hear it over the music at a lot of points. I so agree with Louis: more style or substance and I will add on and say that that style makes no sense. Ooh Danni agrees with me!

VERDICT: I think people will either love or hate her and I hope more hate her and she goes home. Yea I’m not budging on this one.


Mary Byrne:

She seems really at home on the stage even if her facial expressions and gestures are a bit over the top. I think she is one of those singers who thinks singing louder means they are singing better, but I think it works for her on this song choice. I think her makeover, which is really just makeup and a good haircut is really good and even though she’s in some sort of pant-suit thingy, I kinda like it.

VERDICT: She will so be here next week, no question and I don’t think she’ll ever have to work at Tesco again.


Nicolo Festa:

Does he have a cold sore in his VT? Ew!!! I think he’s like an Italian, singing Chuck Bass if that makes any sense. He is a little shit who think’s he’s the shit and somehow that kinda works for him. I don’t think the singing is bad, but it’s also not exciting or impressing me. I don’t really have anything else to say.

VERDICT: I think he might be in the bottom, but maybe not since he sang Lady Gaga.


One Direction:

I think little girls will LOVE these boys. When i was a little girl I remember calculating how much older celebrities I crushed on were than I was and thinking “Oh Mark Paul Gosselaar is only 6 years older than me, so that’s totally possible.” Since they are all under 18 I think little girls will love them and even as an adult I can say at least 2 of them are pretty cute (don’t call me a cougar). First off I’m not a huge Coldplay fan, so I’m not loving the song choice. I think they are actually singing together quite well, but their movements/gestures are a bit too heavy handed and forced.

VERDICT: They will be here next week no question. Little girls and old ladies are who vote for the X-Factor.



Wagner:

First I’m so glad it looks like they gave him a deep conditioning treatment; his frizzy hair grossed me out. She Bangs segwaying into Love Shack after a bongo solo? I don’t know if it is his accent, but I just can’t even slightly take this guy seriously and throw in that bizarre medley and not a chance.

VERDICT: Bottom three.

Aiden Grimshaw:

He looks like he is about to kill someone! His facial expressions and his grip on the mic are way too intense for my liking. I know Mad World is a dark, intense song but this is waaay over the top. Also come on no one, NO ONE, can top Adam Lambert’s version of Mad World from American Idol Season 9; it can not be done.

VERDICT: He sang it well, but he creeped me out and he’s no Glambert.


Treyc Cohen:

I won’t be mad her that she’s the wildcard and Gamu isn’t, I will keep my bitterness for Katie and Cher. I’m not loving the messy hair, greased up legs or the styling in general, but HELLO baby’s got back. She can definitely sing, but honestly I don’t know if that’s good enough on these shows. It was good song choice for her vocal range, but I don’t know if it will make people vote.

VERDICT: She does deserve to be there, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she was in the bottom three.