Sunday 9 October 2011

The X Factor: First Live Show

The X Factor is live and the first theme is "Britain vs. America" which isn't really a theme at all since 90% of music on the radio is from the US or UK. It's like saying tonight's theme is "Fast vs. Slow;" either have a proper theme or don't okay?

The Big Twist isn't bringing back contestants after all (so why was Kelly Rowland in Fife?) but instead there will be no public vote this week. They used to do the same waaay back in the early days of American Idol so not that exciting if you ask me. Bring on the singing!

Amelia Lily

xfactor amelia lily
What is with the pink hair? First the girl on BINTM and now her as well? I do think she looks loads better with less make-up. Who lets a 16 year old go bleach blonde and wear 2 tons of makeup? Oh for the love of Bubbles she's singing Billie Jean? I love Michael Jackson and I love a bit of punk-rock covers but this is just not well thought out and it is NOT good.  Also pink hair plus red jacket clashes in my book; just saying.

Johnny Robinson

xfactor johnny robinson
Okay so I'm guessing the X Factor vocal coach didn't get a chance to teach him about singing from his chest and not his nose? I feel bad for him because honestly he's not good enough to be on the stage. I guess Louis is treating him like Wagner 2.0 and figure that is he goes camp enough with enough dancers in tight clothes he'll go through. He does look like he is having the time of his life though so good for him I guess? OMG did you see Kelly's polite tennis clap? LOVE IT.


I'm going to go ahead and say it I was more impressed with Sophia Grace singing Super Bass than these girls and her rapping skills were way better. If you aren't a rapper you should not try to rap. The harmony at the end was good but just didn't make any sense. Also what is up with Tulisa's blonde roots with brown hair? Is that a new trend I've missed because it looks really stupid.

Frankie Cocozza

xfactor frankie cocozza
First I have to say I HATE his hair; comb-overs are don't look good on old men nor do they look good young men. I also hate this song; I thought it was that whiny James Blunt until I listened and realized it was about drugs and Officer Blunt wouldn't dare sing about drugs. I'd have to say using the term "sing" to describe what Frankie did tonight is stretching it; he just huskily spoke through it and I did not like it. Real artist Gary? Not so much.

Sophie Habibis
sophie habibis
Didn't Kelly say she was singing a song by the biggest act in the UK right now? Did I not hear her right? I was expecting Adele not the very American Katy Perry. She looks great and her shoes are freaking amazing but I think they've slowed the song down too much. Sophie can obviously sing but it's just too sleepy for my taste. If Simon was there he'd say it was indulgent.

Jonjo Kerr

xfactor jonjo kerr
Even the girls grinding without their poles behind him can't distract from how bad this is. He does not have the voice, style or confidence to pull off the Kinks. Does anyone remember Tabby from the 1st series of the X Factor? He could sing the Kinks, Jonjo can not. The buttoned up suit did not work at all with the song either.

Two Shoes

xfactor 2 shoes
I'm glad they got out of the car because you couldn't see them but then they got out and I saw they had on 25lbs pounds of makeup. Oy. It's not bad but it also sounds exactly like the original version. I don't really have much else to say which can't be a good thing. I second Kelly though; where the hell is Romford?

James Michael

xfactor james michael
I don't remember him from any of the audition shows and based on this I'm not surprised. It's so ho-hum and not powerful I just want to fast forward. Another slowed down, sleepy song that has been changed up for the worse. If you are going to sing something as classic as a Beatles song you have to kill it; he didn't kill it he murdered it.

Misha B
xfactor misha b

Another "biggest artist in the UK" from Kelly; I'm thinking Adele again but will assume its another American.  Okay it is Adele but why is she dressed like what I imagine Rupert Murdoch would look like in drag--part newspaper, part evil queen? She's not a bad singer but she's very affected and over stylised in her singing which makes it very unpleasant to listen to if I'm honest.

Nu Vibe
xfactor nuvibe

Okay first I have to say normally when I hear this song I change the station or the channel. I can not and will not support Chris Brown in any way shape or form. I really, really hope he is not getting any royalties or benefits from them singing this song. I don't boycott much but I boycott him.  Now that is out of the way I think their performance was old fashioned and they were trying too hard to look like a boy band and the vocals fell flat. Even the styling seems so five years ago; except for the main guy's crustache ala Colour me Badd which is so 20 years ago.

Marcus Collins

xfactor marcus collins
I think he looks really good but the performance is very karaoke. Don't get me wrong I love karaoke but that's not what this show is about. His phrasing is off and it's just not the best vocal I've heard in my life. While I think he is really cute it did not do it for me.

Sami Brookes
xfactor sami brookes

Why is she actually done up like a drag queen? I'm the first to admit I wish I was a drag queen myself but I really do not think her styling or makeup is flattering in any way shape or form. The X Factor has a really bad habit of putting anyone over a size 10 in shapeless black sacks of varying lengths (see Mary from last year) and I do not like it. What the frickity frak did she do with her mouth at the end there? If Simon was there he'd say it was a "cruise ship" performance.

The Risk
xfactor the risk

We've never heard them sing together before and I think if we had they wouldn't be here. Their voices just don't really mesh well together. Again if you can't rap- DON'T RAP; I think bad rapping might be my new pet peeve. I'm not a fan and at this stage and can't see them sticking around very long. Did the judges hear something totally different from me? I'm actually shocked that they liked it so much.

Craig Colton

xfactor craig colton
I hope they break him of that lip snarl habit quickly; why do contestants do that? It doesn't look big, clever or cute. I have no idea what song he is singing which makes it really hard for me to connect and get into it. He can sing but there is no connection. WHAT THE F WAS THAT?!?! That strange whipsery, almost crying drama break in the middle before the crescendo? Who said that was okay? That put me right off; I wasn't committed from the start and that killed it for me.

Kitty Brucknell

xfactor kitty brucknell
Did she get botox? Her forehead and eyebrows look freakishly smooth and frozen. She looks like a waxwork! She's not the worst singer but all the theatrics and styling is only something you can pull of once you are an established artist. Did you notice how no one clapped at first? It's because they didn't know WTF to say! Her voice was fine but the performance was just really out of place and she so wants to be Gaga right?

Janet Devlin

xfactor janet devlin
I absolutely hate her Dale Evans outfit but holy shit is she the best by a mile. The song choice is amazing and completely shows off the vulnerability and innocence in her voice. It was totally stunning and she's my early pick to win the X Factor. She has a little case of Diana Vickers hands but otherwise perfect. Also how is it she sounds more Irish singing than she does speaking? So cute!

All photos from


Melaina25 said...

You've got some of this spot on!  I <3 you for mentioning Tabby too!!

We're going to have to agree to disagree on some of it though however I nearly died when I heard Kitty start to sing a song from my beloved Freddie and I like stripped back Beatles songs (James).  Two Shoes and Sami need new stylists and choreographers and there was a lot of karaoke in there.

I cannot watch the advert breaks.  I keep hyperventilating every time 99 Red Balloons comes on.

Melaina25 said...

Was Kelly in Fife?
Romford is in Essex, I went there once and can't remember a thing about it.

And NIckie, is that hyperventilating in a good way or not?

Melaina25 said...

I heard on the radio that she was but apparently it was not true.

Melaina25 said...

At the MADs last week we recorded songs in the XFactor pod and they *could* be used in the ad breaks.  I hope it was so bad that it will never see the light of day again.

Melaina25 said...

Umm mine was kinda awesome ;)

Melaina25 said...

totally agree.... i <3 janet! and i don't even like x factor!

Melaina25 said...

NotBlondeHusband also thinks Janet sounds like Dolores O'Riordan. PS: I think we'd be very good friends :)

Melaina25 said...

Commenting a bit late as I only watched this last night and have managed to avoid finding out who's been booted out as yet.  But my tuppence worth.

Amelia Lily = Kelly Clarkson wannabe

Johnny Robinson = I think it's a crying shame that actual talented singers are sent home and joke acts are left in the competition. Can't comment too much on his performance as had to fast forward through it after about 20 seconds.

Rhythmix - no girl band has done well, and they never will if this is the standard.  Look bad, sound bad.  Please may they never rap again.

Frankie Cocozza - he who spent an entire summer working in a greek resort and only pulled 6 girls!  Can't sing for toffee and clearly I am getting old but if this is the younger generation's idea of good looking, they can keep it.

Sophie Habibis - Boring!  Can't believe they sent Jade home and kept her!

Jonjo - bad karaoke, nuff said.

2 shoes - I do quite like these two and don't think they were the worst of the groups - which of course means they probably get binned!

James Michael - firstly, what the hell has he done to his hair.  Secondly if you really must completely rework a Beatles classic (and I'd really rather you didn't) then you should at least have notes in there that you can sing.

Misha - I love her, backing her win.  I do hope they don't have her doing the same thing each week though.

Nu Vibe - can't really remember their performance which probably speaks volumes.

Marcus Collins - not the worst of the boys but not brilliant.  Also, why do they always have to have a contestant that cries for his mammy every week.  Man up!

Sami - yeah she can sing but the size of her head scares the bejesus out of me.

The Risk - for me probably the best of the groups but I doubt JLS are worried.

Craig Colton - his performance bought about a giggling fit where halfway through his lip start wobbling and he looked like he was about to burst into tears.  He's got a good voice, I'd prefer it if he didn't sing out of the side of his mouth mind...

Kitty - I was wondering why she looked a bit weird, and you're right - botox!  Obviously this year's love to hate figure so she'll be around for as long as the press can dig up plenty of dirt on her.

Janet Devlin - I am probably in a minority here, but I absolutely hate her insipid, weak watery voice, have wanted to flick her very hard on the nose every time she's sung previously.  Having said that she sang differently last night more like the Cranberrys than her usual style and didn't make too bad a job of a Coldplay classic, well once she'd stop 'shss'ing everywhere.